Evil Auntie’s Shortbread

Preheat oven to 150°C (300°F)

375 ml flour (1½ cups) * 60 ml powdered sugar (¼ cup) 22 ml granulated sugar (1½ Tbs) 1 ml salt (¼ tsp) 150 ml softened butter (10 Tbs)

Scotch whiskey (2 ml - ½ tsp)

Sift dry ingredients together

Place butter in mixing bowl, beat on low

gradually add dry ingredients Pour in a wee bit of Scotch whiskey Transfer to baking pan, pat down until firm Score and add decorative pattern Bake for 45 to 50 minutes Remove from oven, cool and serve

for extra crumbles, modify to:

3 parts wheat flour, 1 part rice flour or cornstarch

Aphrodisiac Chicken

Whole Chicken

A thick coat of rub on skin

Stuff with: Sliced Apples

Optionally: sprinkle cinnamon on apples before stuffing

Cook at 400° F (205° C ) for 2-1/2 to 3-1/2 hours or until Breast > 160° F (70° C )

Aphrodisiac Rub Equal parts of: ground Nutmeg Ginger powder dried Basil Moisten with: Olive Oil White wine

Evil Auntie’s Sexy Tart

Preheat oven to 177°C (350°F) 6 medium Apples - cored, peeled, quartered Peeled Pumpkin pieces - 1000 cc (4 cups) 375 ml sugar (1½ cups) 60 ml butter (1/2 stick)

Make a flaky pie crust (your own recipe)

In skillet at high heat, melt butter, add sugar, Stir until carmelized. Add apples, cook, drain & remove apples. Add pumpkin, cook, drain & remove - burner off. Arrange apple slices in skillet, add pumpkin pieces. Top with rolled out flaky pie crust. Add steam holes in pie crust. Bake for one hour. Remove from oven, cool 15 minutes. Place upside down plate on skillet, flip & serve.

American Sushi

• Rolling material
  • sushi nori
  • thin sliced meat - ham, roast beef, chicken, turkey
• Traditional Fillers
  • sushi rice
  • cucumber
  • avacado
  • carrot
  • celery
• American Fillers
  • sun dried tomatoes
  • pine nuts
  • asparagus
  • dried mango, apricot, etc.
  • hard cheeses
  • spreadable cheeses
• Zingers
  • Siracha Sauce
  • Thai hot sauce
  • horseradish
  • lemon zest

Evil Auntie's Titty Turkey

• Ingredients
  • One turkey
  • Generous amounts of:
    • Lemons
    • Garlic cloves cut into slivers
    • Olive oil
    • Fines Herbes (tarragon, chives & parsley)
    • Black pepper
    • White wine and dry Sherry
  • Cheesecloth formed into a blanket and 2 mounds
• Clean turkey, place in pan breast up,
  • stuff with lemons
  • Stab holes in meat and fill with garlic slivers
  • Rub outside of turkey with olive oil and Fines Herbes
  • Lay cheesecloth blanket and tittys on breasts
  • Saturate cheesecloth with white wine and dry sherry
  • Sprinkle black pepper over entire bird
• Place in 325°F oven and roast for 15-20 minutes/lb
• Remove cheesecloth halfway through cooking, then baste every half hour until breast at 165°F
• Remove and let stand 15 minutes before carving

Wassail

• 1 quart orange juice
• 1 quart pineapple juice
• 4 cinnamon sticks
• 12 cloves
• 1 gallon apple cider

In a 10 quart pot, mix the orange juice, pineapple juice, cinnamon and cloves. If using non alcoholic apple cider, add it now. Place on burner, heat to simmer.

Cook for 30-60 minutes until spices infuse mixture, then either add hard cider and heat back up to simmer before serving, or serve.

Though some may choose to spike their wassail with distilled spirits, Evil prefers to use home made hard cider (instead of unfermented apple cider) when she wants alcoholic content.

Fondue

• 12 oz natural (not processed) Swiss cheese*
• 4 oz Gruyere cheese*
• 1.5 teaspoons cornstarch
• 1 cup white wine**
• 1 tablespoon lemon juice
• 1 garlic clove
• sprinkle of nutmeg
• sprinkle of white or black pepper

Shred cheeses and combine. Sprinkle cornstarch over cheese. Mix. Split garlic clove and use to rub the inside of a medium saucepan. Add white wine and lemon juice, heat until bubbles begin to rise, then add cheese mixture, handful at a time and stir cheese to melt. Continue to stir until completely blended - don't allow to boil!

Transfer to fondue pot for serving. Sprinkle nutmeg and pepper on top as desired.

other cheeses you may try are brick, colby, fontina, monterey jack or muenster - though adjustment of the amounts of wine and lemon juice may required to mix properly

traditional wines like sauterne, chablis, rhine or moselle work best